SHOWTIMES
0:01 Song: Tangled up in Rules
5:26 Banter
17:34 Rules
50:11 Contest winners announced
56:30 Total Running Time
The views and opinions expressed on The 2 Half-Squads are not necessarily those of the hosts.
Tangled Up In Rules
Concept: Jeff Hallett
Written by Jeff Hallett and Dennis Donovan
Vocals, music, and mixing: Firefly
Early one morning, the sun was shining
I was playin’ ‘gainst Fred
Startin’ up a new campaign game
One from the Barricades, Red
We both played ASL together
Just couldn’t play it enough
We never did like that Squad Leader mess
The rulebook wasn’t big enough
Now it’s time to get the show on the road
Wondering what units to choose
Setting up will take weeks at most
Lord knows there’s SSRs, to go through
Tangled up in rules
He was married when we first met
Soon to be divorced
Helped him through a rough time, oh yes
With Advanced Squad Leader of course
We played that game as much as we could
Never gave it a rest
Stayed up late most every night
Arguing, but only in jest
He poked around in Chapter B
As I was yakkin’ away
Heard him mumble something ‘bout “ rubble
Collapsing on a wide city avenue?”
Tangled up in rules
I had a half-track set up in some woods
Lurking on the flank for a spell
But it wasn’t really doing all that much
Then one turn some mortar shells fell
So I read all about area fire
Chapter C, 1 point 5-5
Knowin’ he’d smile and probably gloat
If my half-track got destroyed
But the HT’s partially armored
So I asked around online
I’ve seen a lot of answers
But none made sense in my mind
What else is new??
Tangled up in rules
He was lookin’ in the Perry Sez
When I popped opened a beer
I just kept reading the Chapter C pages
The examples aren’t so clear
And later on when we figured it out
Finally gettin’ back to our game
He was saying, “I’m still not quite clear
‘bout that whole open-topped thang.”
I muttered somethin’ underneath my breath
And studied the links on the page
I must admit I felt a little uneasy
When he pointed out some errata from Journal 2
Tangled up in rules
I'd setup for a perfect shot
‘Twas no way I could lose
He walked into my clever trap
Put his men's heads in the noose.
I rolled a six & yelled, “I got ya good!”
He said. “I hate to disappoint you,
Your squad's of the inexperienced kind
And that machine gun's captured, too
And did you forget that the SSR
Said the ammunition was short?
And I must point out your sustained fire
Will only add to the growing list of your blues…”
Tangled up in rules
He took a burger off the stove,
And offered me a bite
“I see you read Chapter O,” he said
“Your eyes hurt from the tiny type?”
Then he opened his book of rules
And showed me something he’d
Written down in the margins were notes
From 1993
And every one of those notes was true
There were all from an ol’
Q & A on the last page of
Avalon Hill’s ASL Annual ‘92
Tangled up in rules
I fought against him in Stalingrad’s streets
In the cellars under the stairs
There were Ruskis on the attack at night
And starshells in the air
Russians are stealthy for ambush but
Conscripts aren’t, I realized
He won most all ambush rolls
And lots of my guys died
When the star shells finally burned out
His squads had all withdrawn
The only thing I knew how to do
Was to keep on playing on, like in A point 2**
Tangled up in rules
So now I’m really confused again
I got to figure it out somehow
All the rules that I thought I knew
Are eluding me right now
Some CG SSRs
Some in Chapter H
Don’t know where errata’s listed
I don’t know why we chose this campaign
And me, I’m still scratchin’ my head
Wondering what’s the point
12 years now we’ve been playing our game
And haven’t even started German, Turn 2
Tangled up in rules
**A.2 ERRORS: All errors stand once play has progressed past the point of commission.
Excelsior!
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